A Totally Wild Idea

I’ve written about this before, but Herman Cain’s latest scandal suggests that it’s time to formalize things. Here’s a catch-all pledge for ALL Americans [h/t Grover Norquist]:

Ignoring Joke Candidates Pledge:

“I, [insert name here], pledge to myself and my fellow Americans, that I will:

ONE, no longer devote any attention to Sarah Palin, Donald Trump, John Edwards, Herman Cain. I will not read newspaper coverage of her/his exploits. I will not attend to radio or television stories of her/his latest distractions from the serious political issues facing Americans; I will change the channel whenever possible and will shut off the transmitting device in the event of a media frenzy. I will not follow links to online content about her/his showmanship, strange foibles, or personal crises (especially sexual).

TWO, I reserve the right to attend to the exploits, distractions, showmanship, etc of any non-joke candidate (anyone who remains primarily concerned with the process of running for office rather than book tours, TV show or sex tape promotion, etc).

THREE, if asked, I will happily explain that I do not wish to be uninformed, but that she/he has grown so ridiculous that any coverage of her/his personality unduly prevents serious discussion of serious political issues. I will further explain that I prefer to keep my entertainment separate from my politics.

FOUR, I will cheerfully withdraw my pledge, should she/he demonstrate a renewed interest in running for office instead of gathering attention solely for its own sake.

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Signature

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Print and sign it! Customize to fit your needs! Post it to Facebook! Tweet it! Together we can freeze out distracting Joke Candidates and improve our common discourse!

At the very least, we can each save ourselves a good chunk of time. Upon reflection, most of us would probably rather spend our free time reading about something other than Herman Cain’s alleged sex life or Sarah Palin’s college transcripts or Donald Trump (in general).