Thanks to John Lennon (RIP) and Paul McCartney...
Woke up (to clean air, thanks to the EPA/Clean Air Act), fell out of bed (whose mattress and pillows didn’t catch fire, thanks to the USCPSC),
Dragged a (lead-free, thanks to the USCPSC) comb across my head (not a hair on it harmed, thanks to the Department of Defense, local police, and other assorted agencies)
Found my way downstairs (stairs didn’t collapse, thanks to local/state/federal building codes) and drank a cup (of tea safe for human consumption due to FDA regulations, the FSIS, and the EPA/Clean Water Act),
And looking up (at an safety-tested clock set to federal standards, run on federally-subsidized hydroelectric power) I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat (both free of carcinogens like asbestos…thanks again, USCPSC)
Made the (publicly-subsidized and coordinated) bus (safe because of the FMCSA and FTA, on safe DOT roads) in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke (of a cigarette with far fewer chemical toxins—FDA oversight),
and Somebody spoke (and spoke well, having been educated at a good public school) and I went into a dream (a dream where the market could do ALL of this on its own)…
You know what we need to do? Cut the pay of federal workers, cut the size of the federal government, and make way for FREEDOM! Pass me some (preferably FDA uninspected?) TEA!
Where’s the rest of the day? I suppose a government nanny tucked you in bed, read you a story, and made those bad monsters stay in the closet.
Posted by j.a.m. | December 18, 2010, 10:05 am